TWO FOR TWO THURSDAYS!

Good news everybody! I can guarantee you a HABS win tonight!

On my way into work this morning, I was going through my usual routing of a hang-over headache and a zombie like stroll through the herd of cattle (or it might have been the masses of bodies filing out of the metro…couldn’t tell). As I was muttering thirteen different prayers to every major religion I know for a cup of coffee, I heard a familiar voice screaming and shouting in the distance. As I got closer, the shrieks of the world coming to an end, and how we should avoid Dairy Queen since it is owned by the Anti-Christ, I quickly realized it was that time of year when crazy cat-suit man comes out of hiding.

For those of you who are newer to the thread, crazy cat suit man shows up every now and then, and gives the morning rat race a ray of sunshine. By ray of sunshine of course I mean he reeks of pee, faeces, scotch (he drinks Canadian Club…I would recognize that smell anywhere), years of sweat, regurgitated general tao chicken, and a little “je ne sais quoi” which emulates from the suit he wears.

His suit is an orange cat. Imagine an anorexic Youppi, with whiskers, a tail, some black stripes, drag him through the sewer systems face down, and you have the cat suit. But crazy cat suit man is not your average loopy. He tends to multiple sense. Some mornings he’s dancing, some morning he’s break dancing (although I’m fairly sure he’s convulsing from the sobriety), but most mornings he does his best to let us all know when the world is in danger.

Crazy Cat Suit Man is smarter than most people give him credit for. Don’t mind the drool hanging from his lips, because he’s intelligent enough to deliver his message in code, thus providing his enlightening information only to those who can decipher the “code”

Since we’re all buddies here, I’ll share his secret with you. His code is rather complex, but I’ve figured out that he says the opposite of what is going to happen. You see every time I see him he tells me I’m being stalked by demons, and that the world is coming to an end. Low and behold; I haven’t had to call on the exorcist, nor did the earth shatter in to a billion pieces.

Every once in a while he’ll throw a curve ball our way and make predictions about the weather, stock market (although I’m yet to find the Goojy boojy corporation’s stock…), and on rare occasions he’ll predict HABS games. So far he has a 100% success rate, and this morning he said we will loose.

So get your rolls of $100 out people! This one is a lock! It’s in the bag! Oh holy Crazy Cat Suit Man…how can we ever thank you?